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Friday, July 6th, 2012

Time:5:37 pm.
feels like the only way forward is down, even if that makes no sense at all.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Subject:Sia, Breathe me...(Sometimes I just want to be loved)
Time:2:05 am.

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before 
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame 

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me 

Ouch I have lost myself again 
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, 
Yeah I think that I might break 
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me 

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Subject:So glad it's Friday...
Time:10:42 pm.
We were given the task to write our own poem's under the topic of 'Who am I?' after reading a pretty terrible poem on the subject last night. I wrote mine in about 10 minutes this morning but I don't think it's too bad, and it felt good to do. I hadn't written poetry in so long:


This shadow is tailing me,
A brightly coloured figure, I see her,
with side glances, flitting in and out of my vision.
Interrupting. Reminding.
Moving from side to side, with comforting ease,
to the music of yesterday, music I loved,
And she giggles, a hand guards grinning lips, mockingly,
Peachy complexion, cheeks flushed with rose tinted dew,
Hair dancing loosely in thick, dark waves
My own face hangs long with a question mark.
I try to return to her, but I am coated in cling film.
Pressing my hands against hers, I feel her warmth against my icy cold,
But I cannot truly push through, I cannot go back.
Pushing my nose against a barrier, condensation sticks in bubbles,
She won’t let me through. I am merely a flagging extra limb,
Yellow and diseased, an extension of her now detached.
She the animated ghost.
 I look closer.
Her eyes are dead too,
Burnt out centres, like stubbed cigarettes.
Her eyes are my eyes.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Subject:Adele - Make You Feel My Love
Time:10:08 pm.
When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no - one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/adele/make_you_feel_my_love.html ]
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

Subject:indigo dragon
Time:3:16 pm.

What dragon soul do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Indigo Dragon

You are an Indigo Dragon. You're sweet and loving, and very affectionate. You love to be loved and love sweet, tender moments. Indigo dragons are extremely rare, especially in male dragons.

Indigo Dragon


Blue Dragon


Black Dragon


Purple Dragon


Green Dragon


Red Dragon


Sun Dragon


White Dragon

Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Subject:a few poems...
Time:7:23 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
I was just looking back over my documents on the computer, found a few poems i'd actually forgotten i had written. It's when you look back that you can see that perhaps they weren't as bad as you originally thought. Opinions would be much appreciated. Are they all too similar? I fear i need a new vocabulary!

In my imagination
you would sculpt perfection
skin these lines with invisible ink
blotting soft tissue and filth to dust
particles evaporated into light air
a touch of magic, delicate fingers;
smoothing life to dusk.

By a mirrors harsh reflection
i would stand, like a soilder in command
A cut rose without thorns, fragile beauty.
& you, the hero to my sufferance
A knight, in shining armour,
rescuing the princess from her tower
a million white horses galloping into the night.

But now i am broken,
a shattered child, burnt to the soul
by the fire of your destruction
You are frakenstein and I, your monster
hideously inflicted with greed, regret
slashed to the bone, and bleeding
The glass slipper just couldn't fit,
to the foot of my enemy.

Shadows (mind the lack of grammar/punctuation in this one, i guess i couldn't be bothered!)
grey is looming
around me
a cloud of smoke,
those darkened figures
subtly edging beside me
like old friends from the past
isolated, undressed,
screams bouncing off the walls

My masked saviour,
clasping a cold, limp hand,
warm palms holding frail fingers,
a darkened purple
an echo of relief bubbles
as we walk
where do i start?
and where do the shadows begin?

dirty, dusty, dark alleyways
an eerie sense of innocence lost
burnt out cigarettes, and discarded lager cans
screwed to the tin, a scrape of metal as they run across the ground
and i am safe
beneath the comfort of misery, needles drawing my blood
connecting my veins to a purpose.

& i am bruised
from head to toe,
companioned with my sufferance
an exorcism of hope or faith
a picture of spilled blood
marking the spot.
You give me air,
stale oxygen in my lungs,
whispers rising,
the danger of a kiss of death.

loose curls flattened by the frost
resuscitation, to semi-consciousness
graves left from before

Clouds (ditto on the absence in grammar)
take a step into my insides
sad tunes ring note by note
eyes burn dark black rings
into my back, a shattered spine
snapped in two
a tall wall against mayhem
fury scorched out, chilled cold
dead to the touch

blurred backgrounds
set to channel zero
as i fall in head first
vision set through snow
with kitten pawprints
seeing is not believing
when the image is only half there
washed sideways, with sanity

no windows, no bell
a brass lock, barring the door
chimey smoke reminds you
that i am still here
a black, dark, deep cloud
of looming presence
a knock, brings no answer
no sparkle or spirit to call
Comments: Read 12 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, December 5th, 2005

Time:2:41 pm.
You're a Narrative writer!

What kind of writer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Read 18 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, November 25th, 2005

Time:7:45 pm.
You died of either old age or a sickness. You are a
kind person and are smart. You have a good head
on your shoulders. But don't think that just
because your death wasn't exciting or extreme
that that makes you boring.

How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 19th, 2005

Subject:Sorry for such a long entry!
Time:12:58 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
The poet laureatte - Andrew Motion is coming into college on Wednesday! I have been looking forward to this, he is doing a reading of some of his poems which all English Lit students are expected to go to, and then afterwards a workshop with just 20 students, and i am one of them :). There is also going to be a college poetry competition and poems are due in mid December. You can submit three pieces, which i'd like to do, but i'm unsure of which ones to pick. I thought perhaps if i posted the possibles here (ones i am particularly fond of) i might be able to get some opinions? It would be really, really appreciated. I find it so hard to judge my own writing and am always looking for flaws. Also, if you think i shoul change something or even think none of them are any good please be honest and tell me, then perhaps i could try and write some others. I can't tell you how much it would mean to me to win a prize in this.

The choices -

1) Eyes Half Shut

Spinning on tiptoes,
like a broken ballerina,
spotlight dimmed
over an ashen face,
purity torched,
set ablaze with death.
A stench of gray, sickly sadness.

Soft curls and perfume,
fall loosly with fragile tears,
spilled mascara turning the blue to black.
Dreaming instead of dancing.
Clumsy feet poised with artificial elegance,
a body poker straight, glass sculptured tension,
Untouchable, until it shatters.

A loud multicoloured blur,
moves past like a thousand galloping horses,
in shades of green and red and purple,
glints of silver spectacles and golden jewels.
They're watching, her tight lips, her half shut eyes,
the flutter of her lashes as she loses herself,
the only way to stop the shaking.

She falters, with the twist of a weak ankle,
slippers sliding across a metalic stage,
frozen hands set hard against the floor.
Shot down with the shift from soft air
And then stares, into space, past their blank expressions.
She is not there.
Just a dressed up doll, in pieces,
with rosed cheeks and sparkled skin.
Dreaming instead of living


oh god
my seams are
stitches snapping
cloth uncoiled
ringlet masacre
hands are tied
with coarse string
can't pull the silk ribbons back
& decorate delicately with a bow

insides spilling
into a darkdeepdirty
by my feet
toes dipped in oil
a spirit escaping
holes punctured
as fabric splits
staples just won't do
burning thread
shrinks less and less

please now
when skin has been reduced
to just gritted dust
sprinkles of a shameful past
sweep it away
brush bristles moving death aside
sing a song as you hustle
leave the remains ungrieved

3)Muddy Knees (i think this would be my favourite)

Muddy knees grazed red with playground mischief.
Sand landscapes and magical make-believe.
Auburn strands twisted through branches.
Chalk and crayola palm prints, pressed against bark

We were foxes, and unicorns
and princesses.
Your left hand in mine, your right in hers.
Together, three as a whole.
We needed nobody else.

You were [are] both,
so beautiful.

I cried when you left,
even as your cheeks remained dry.
I watched while she learned,
and she danced, she loved, and she grew.

You were blue, and she was green,
and i was purple.
Dark purple, mottled shadow. Bruised.
One rotten apple misplaced between prize-winners.

& Now i wonder
how did i drop, so easily,
to the bottom of the ocean?
Did you see me trip?
A wayward step, subtle slip against the edge,
into silence.

My mother says,
that my hair is coloured,
with chesnut streaks and auburn lights,
but i know,
that it is just brown.
Plain. Ordinary. Nothing special
Ditch brown. Like the dirt on your shoe.

4)Untitled (is this one too personal? I wish i could stay anonymous really)

Sharp silver charms strung along my bracelet,
barbed wire guarding fragile wrists.
A clench of metal chains.
Bubble wrapped, and breakable.
Surrounded by toxic fumes,
and still i am unmoved.

Sight pinned, against a star shot sky.
Hazy, doped up. Strung out,
on destruction,
Skin scratched and punctured,
bullet wounds marking tainted flesh,
and i'm pressing the trigger.

Crimson hand prints against glass.
A mirror reflection smashed and shattered,
slashed porcelein, painted red.
Little cut crosses, a constant reminder,
of imperfection.
A hollow shell, gradually cracking.
Outside exterior peeling, melted plastic.
Hunger swallowing empty space.

Charged on a false high,
a lit energy fuse ready to blow.
Brush frail fingers over jutting bones,
counting ribs, by vacant ridges.
Striving for less,
lower red blinking numbers.
Eventually - Zero.

Resistance is my heroin.
A needles scratch to freeze the pain.
Sedating a sick mind,
soothing a defeated soul.
Mould spreading over a petri dish,
breeding self-deprecation.
Lost in curdled insanity.

Smothered by my safety blanket,
burning fibres that scorch and sting.
Yet, i cling with limp strength,
and sad eyes, that have seen too much.
Lying drowned beneath dying flowers.
Waiting, drifting, fading, falling.
Corners slowly folding in, picture dimming black.

5)It's Going To Rain Today

It is going to rain today
buckets and spades are locked away in the closet
a silent air cut down with spashes, of blood, of water,
of fighting will. a halo snapped, broken in two
skeletons strewn across the floor in my wake
perceptions breed like a dabbling monster
i cannot hear it, i will not see it. Led blind and frightened.
Like a fragile old woman, a widow, once a wife.
Birds skim with malice across the water,
catching fish to rip and knaw, with their sharpened beaks
Crouched empty behind this dusty curtain, unable to move
paralysed, set deep in the dirt. Frozen, absent, gone.
watching the cold rain pour down.

6}Turning Leaves

Tip the milk away.
Your inch doesn't match my pint.
Foot-falls echo with bangs and blows.
Icicle folicules, tapping nails against hardfloor.
No room in the chariot.
You'll be on your way now.

Bare branches,
birds stung of nectured melody.
Crossed heart, sewn mouth.
Spectacles left stranded on the desk.
Offline, Off key, Off site.
Craving the fresh taste of new.

Suck it in, spit it out.
Burrow through the timely seed.
Float amongt the marsh.
Diamonds shine like dirt, ruby grey.
Clingfilm door tight.
Bottling distilled decay.

You won't find me,
behind the gas, beneath the creases.
at the end of the packet of crisps.
Smudges upon the land.
Wandered out of sight,
vanished from your spot-checked view.
Laid under insanity.
Leaves slowly turning.
Your tune moving furthur from here.


Creased, crumbled in this battered down house.
A witch lost of tricks, with space left where spirit lay.
Smashed and split windows, leaking musty dust.
Fingernails blunt and dirt ridden, blood mingling with soil.
Tousled curls and bleary eyes, aside an empty grave,
Hands latched around this body that doesn't want to be held.

Evidence feeding electric hatred.
Her palms are black, and theirs were red.
Static numbness nursing the unknown, the unseen.
Precious wounds hidden by magic marker.
A sparkling fury lights their past placid stare.
Puncturing sadness, a blue rim turned grey.
Frozen tracks marking a chalk white face.
Apologies, apologies, never spent, never felt.

Outlined with charcoal, easily smudged.
Surrounded by ghosts, chilled and harsh voices.
An icy breeze preserving lonlieness through winter.
Searching for cracks in a once white ceiling.
Silent calm burnt by smoke, torture and misery.
A broken heart, indented with the flames that they threw.


I wish i was a princess
with tamed curls and a dazzling smile
sat high upon a lush green hill
watching the world float and pass by.

I wish i could turn myself inside out
to show you that i'm bleeding
prick my finger on a spindle
so you can leave me sleeping

I wish i could sing like a maiden fair
soft melodies floating through breeze
a sparkle, a glow, a beauty blushed coral
you won't see me drop to my knees

i wish i was an elegant dancer
with poised toes moving, gliding, twirling
a head held high, arms raised to the sky
yet a a sinking heart, crying and yearning,

I wish i didn't have to dream
so much of a new beginning
Images of escape chase me and plead
a single drop to a life empty of meaning.
This snippet of hope is fading, dissolving
like a stone through the water
i'm distantly falling.


standing still
then - falling
in a split moment
a second tranfixed
twisted and bound
tipped forward -
over the sterile edge of a knife
through sanity
through invisible arms
and veiled hope

first my head
second my heart
then the shallow surface
ruptured skin dashed with bruises and knicks
strands of auburn pulled from their roots
eyes shut down to shadow
screams calling through the grey
a poisoned pose
the strike
blow. &
slow advance
of giving in

flooding seeping swimming
up aching veins
filling gaps with i c e
unsteady floorboards
struggling to hold heavy weight
throw needles against the wood
watch them shatter
a sharp edge into the air
breath pulled in so tight
a corset gathering
stemming my voice
whispers turned to white
nails dented over a clogged throat
the last mouthful of life
swallowed down with

a fingertip caught on the needle
a drip
crimson dashes across the floor.
but no broken glass.

Thanks for any help xxx
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 25th, 2003

Subject:The night is darkening around me...
Time:2:35 pm.
Mood:disgustingly fat.
The night is darkening round me,
The wild winds coldly blow;
But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending
Their bare boughs weighed with snow;
The storm is fast descending,
And yet I cannot go.

Clouds beyond clouds above me,
Wastes beyond wastes below;
But nothing drear can move me:
I will not, cannot go.

Emily Bronte.
Comments: Read 63 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, March 25th, 2003

Subject:'Mary Jane' Alanis Morissette
Time:12:52 pm.
What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore

It's a long way down
On this roller coaster
The last chance streetcar
Went off the track
And you're on it

I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane
What's the point of tryin' to dream anymore
I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for

Well it's full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There's a few more bruises
If that's the way
You insist on heading

Please be honest Mary Jane
Are you happy
Please don't censor your tears

You're the sweet crusader
And you're on your way
You're the last great innocent
And that's why I love you

So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane I your freedom
Keep warm my dear, keep dry

Tell me
Tell me
What's the matter Mary Jane
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

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