Claire (cryintherain) wrote,
Claire
cryintherain

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Sorry for such a long entry!

The poet laureatte - Andrew Motion is coming into college on Wednesday! I have been looking forward to this, he is doing a reading of some of his poems which all English Lit students are expected to go to, and then afterwards a workshop with just 20 students, and i am one of them :). There is also going to be a college poetry competition and poems are due in mid December. You can submit three pieces, which i'd like to do, but i'm unsure of which ones to pick. I thought perhaps if i posted the possibles here (ones i am particularly fond of) i might be able to get some opinions? It would be really, really appreciated. I find it so hard to judge my own writing and am always looking for flaws. Also, if you think i shoul change something or even think none of them are any good please be honest and tell me, then perhaps i could try and write some others. I can't tell you how much it would mean to me to win a prize in this.

The choices -

1) Eyes Half Shut

Spinning on tiptoes,
like a broken ballerina,
spotlight dimmed
over an ashen face,
purity torched,
set ablaze with death.
A stench of gray, sickly sadness.

Soft curls and perfume,
fall loosly with fragile tears,
spilled mascara turning the blue to black.
Dreaming instead of dancing.
Clumsy feet poised with artificial elegance,
a body poker straight, glass sculptured tension,
Untouchable, until it shatters.

A loud multicoloured blur,
moves past like a thousand galloping horses,
in shades of green and red and purple,
glints of silver spectacles and golden jewels.
They're watching, her tight lips, her half shut eyes,
the flutter of her lashes as she loses herself,
the only way to stop the shaking.

She falters, with the twist of a weak ankle,
slippers sliding across a metalic stage,
frozen hands set hard against the floor.
Shot down with the shift from soft air
And then stares, into space, past their blank expressions.
She is not there.
Just a dressed up doll, in pieces,
with rosed cheeks and sparkled skin.
Dreaming instead of living

2)Forget

oh god
my seams are
unraveling
stitches snapping
cloth uncoiled
gaping
crumbling
ringlet masacre
hands are tied
with coarse string
can't pull the silk ribbons back
together
& decorate delicately with a bow

insides spilling
into a darkdeepdirty
puddle
by my feet
toes dipped in oil
a spirit escaping
holes punctured
as fabric splits
staples just won't do
burning thread
shrinks less and less

please now
when skin has been reduced
to just gritted dust
sprinkles of a shameful past
scattered
shattered
sweep it away
brush bristles moving death aside
sing a song as you hustle
leave the remains ungrieved
fogotten.

3)Muddy Knees (i think this would be my favourite)

Muddy knees grazed red with playground mischief.
Sand landscapes and magical make-believe.
Auburn strands twisted through branches.
Chalk and crayola palm prints, pressed against bark

We were foxes, and unicorns
and princesses.
Your left hand in mine, your right in hers.
Together, three as a whole.
We needed nobody else.

You were [are] both,
so beautiful.

I cried when you left,
even as your cheeks remained dry.
I watched while she learned,
and she danced, she loved, and she grew.

You were blue, and she was green,
and i was purple.
Dark purple, mottled shadow. Bruised.
One rotten apple misplaced between prize-winners.

& Now i wonder
how did i drop, so easily,
to the bottom of the ocean?
Did you see me trip?
A wayward step, subtle slip against the edge,
into silence.

My mother says,
that my hair is coloured,
with chesnut streaks and auburn lights,
but i know,
that it is just brown.
Plain. Ordinary. Nothing special
Ditch brown. Like the dirt on your shoe.

4)Untitled (is this one too personal? I wish i could stay anonymous really)

Sharp silver charms strung along my bracelet,
barbed wire guarding fragile wrists.
A clench of metal chains.
Bubble wrapped, and breakable.
Surrounded by toxic fumes,
and still i am unmoved.

Sight pinned, against a star shot sky.
Hazy, doped up. Strung out,
on destruction,
deprivation,
starvation.
Skin scratched and punctured,
bullet wounds marking tainted flesh,
and i'm pressing the trigger.

Crimson hand prints against glass.
A mirror reflection smashed and shattered,
slashed porcelein, painted red.
Little cut crosses, a constant reminder,
of imperfection.
A hollow shell, gradually cracking.
Outside exterior peeling, melted plastic.
Hunger swallowing empty space.

Charged on a false high,
a lit energy fuse ready to blow.
Brush frail fingers over jutting bones,
counting ribs, by vacant ridges.
Striving for less,
leaner,
lighter,
lower red blinking numbers.
Eventually - Zero.

Resistance is my heroin.
A needles scratch to freeze the pain.
Sedating a sick mind,
soothing a defeated soul.
Mould spreading over a petri dish,
breeding self-deprecation.
Lost in curdled insanity.

Smothered by my safety blanket,
burning fibres that scorch and sting.
Yet, i cling with limp strength,
and sad eyes, that have seen too much.
Lying drowned beneath dying flowers.
Waiting, drifting, fading, falling.
Corners slowly folding in, picture dimming black.

5)It's Going To Rain Today

It is going to rain today
buckets and spades are locked away in the closet
a silent air cut down with spashes, of blood, of water,
of fighting will. a halo snapped, broken in two
skeletons strewn across the floor in my wake
perceptions breed like a dabbling monster
i cannot hear it, i will not see it. Led blind and frightened.
Like a fragile old woman, a widow, once a wife.
Birds skim with malice across the water,
catching fish to rip and knaw, with their sharpened beaks
Crouched empty behind this dusty curtain, unable to move
paralysed, set deep in the dirt. Frozen, absent, gone.
watching the cold rain pour down.

6}Turning Leaves

Tip the milk away.
Your inch doesn't match my pint.
Foot-falls echo with bangs and blows.
Icicle folicules, tapping nails against hardfloor.
No room in the chariot.
You'll be on your way now.

Bare branches,
birds stung of nectured melody.
Crossed heart, sewn mouth.
Spectacles left stranded on the desk.
Offline, Off key, Off site.
Craving the fresh taste of new.

Suck it in, spit it out.
Burrow through the timely seed.
Float amongt the marsh.
Diamonds shine like dirt, ruby grey.
Clingfilm door tight.
Bottling distilled decay.

You won't find me,
behind the gas, beneath the creases.
at the end of the packet of crisps.
Smudges upon the land.
Wandered out of sight,
vanished from your spot-checked view.
Laid under insanity.
Leaves slowly turning.
Your tune moving furthur from here.

7)Witchcraft

Creased, crumbled in this battered down house.
A witch lost of tricks, with space left where spirit lay.
Smashed and split windows, leaking musty dust.
Fingernails blunt and dirt ridden, blood mingling with soil.
Tousled curls and bleary eyes, aside an empty grave,
Hands latched around this body that doesn't want to be held.

Evidence feeding electric hatred.
Her palms are black, and theirs were red.
Static numbness nursing the unknown, the unseen.
Precious wounds hidden by magic marker.
A sparkling fury lights their past placid stare.
Puncturing sadness, a blue rim turned grey.
Frozen tracks marking a chalk white face.
Apologies, apologies, never spent, never felt.

Outlined with charcoal, easily smudged.
Surrounded by ghosts, chilled and harsh voices.
An icy breeze preserving lonlieness through winter.
Searching for cracks in a once white ceiling.
Silent calm burnt by smoke, torture and misery.
A broken heart, indented with the flames that they threw.

8)Wishes

I wish i was a princess
with tamed curls and a dazzling smile
sat high upon a lush green hill
watching the world float and pass by.

I wish i could turn myself inside out
to show you that i'm bleeding
prick my finger on a spindle
so you can leave me sleeping

I wish i could sing like a maiden fair
soft melodies floating through breeze
a sparkle, a glow, a beauty blushed coral
you won't see me drop to my knees

i wish i was an elegant dancer
with poised toes moving, gliding, twirling
a head held high, arms raised to the sky
yet a a sinking heart, crying and yearning,

I wish i didn't have to dream
so much of a new beginning
Images of escape chase me and plead
a single drop to a life empty of meaning.
This snippet of hope is fading, dissolving
like a stone through the water
i'm distantly falling.

9)Silence

standing still
waiting
then - falling
in a split moment
a second tranfixed
twisted and bound
tipped forward -
over the sterile edge of a knife
through sanity
rationality
through invisible arms
and veiled hope

first my head
second my heart
then the shallow surface
ruptured skin dashed with bruises and knicks
strands of auburn pulled from their roots
eyes shut down to shadow
screams calling through the grey
a poisoned pose
the strike
blow. &
slow advance
of giving in

winter
flooding seeping swimming
up aching veins
filling gaps with i c e
unsteady floorboards
struggling to hold heavy weight
throw needles against the wood
watch them shatter
a sharp edge into the air
/gasp/
breath pulled in so tight
a corset gathering
suffocating
stemming my voice
whispers turned to white
nails dented over a clogged throat
the last mouthful of life
swallowed down with
regret.

a fingertip caught on the needle
a drip
seeping
flooding
crimson dashes across the floor.
but no broken glass.
just
silence.


Thanks for any help xxx
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